its pretty late, im just trying to get my thoughts in order as we come to 1st Shawal. How as puasa? For me its the same, as it all, im grateful that i have had a chance to enjoy yet another month of puasa in my lifetime.
Ramadan this month was pretty challenging i would say, with God's grace that new events that has come our way and i am extremly happy that my small team is able to cope and endure this testing times.
All in all, meet new people this month around and learned about some in the course of time. I find it amusing that usually in this month of fasting that everyone, well mostly everyone becomes pious and super religious , the preaching the doa and fasting of sort makes such diffrent outlook of a person, as it is said that during the month, the devil is locked up, thus as preached by Ustaz Don (yah yah i was a a function when he preached) he said that in the month of ramadan, our eyes are open and our behaviour is normalize. If this is true that i had some shocking discovery of the people i know and most shockingly of myself.
Me..just me... Maybe in my age or journey through time, i get a bit more mellow and what not, i noticed that im always forgiving and adapting, even when i should not, this leads to the taken for gratned syndrome and it brings the devil in me when i realize it. A man or a person can never stop learning, in such of life, my dad taught me to always be humble, to bond with the staff and to lead by example. This i keep in my heart and soul and as such become a part of me, it always upsets me of those that simply bulldoze their way, they would have a mind set that they are forever right and dictate others to follow them,like the movie Brave Heart, nobles and lords (royalty and dato's in our world) usually tend to fall in this path, mainly because of all the friends surrounding them always boot licking or maybe the way they were brought up, in any case or cause, in the real world, things are far different. "Its not what you know but Who you know that matters" a line that was thrown to me in my journey, well in my opinion, only partly true. Whats the point of knowing but unable to do anything about it? As of all my life, im used to lead, to be the responsible one and as such i welcome those that share the seat with me. In the early years, with Izzany and Zaki, we shared powered as we are the power of three. We would rotate responsibilities within us and was pretty successful of it. Each trusted the others judgement and no envy or jealousy exited. This was due to our bond. Thick or thin.. and shared responsibility. In this module that was created, we thrived, even when business failed yet we still profit and when we do, the whole family does. The core of the Lost Boyz. I studied the art of war and the way of the sword (Sun Zu and Mushashi) great japanese shcolar, they tought me about self control, about the ability to harness darkness into light and the power to turn hope into a reality. It is now at this time that this method is not really working, i guess you can never replace the power of three but it the only method i know, for if not then it would be really hard to achive success at a fast and strong pace. No man is an island as my dad would fondly remind me, he is so right, a leader is only as strong as his team. A president or King is as great as his subjects, King Arthur, Saladin or even Kennedy are great heroes of man kind but if they were alone, how great would they be? So in all i guess it was because of their character, it was due to how they handle themselves that got them the following, the trust which in turn lead to power. A frist step was i guess humility. Yes humble, being humble reminds us of how fragile we are, it allows us to listen and learn because a proud and arrogant man learns nothing, this is the crux of learning. If we be humble then our minds will be able to soak and absorb what goes around us, able to understand and able to learn. Being a king one must first learn how to fight but one must also learn to lose, for then only we are able to savior victory. Everyone makes mistakes and life is all about that, for mistakes are our lessons in life, if we ignore it? thinking our title or money can sway everything... ask the Beatles "Can't Buy Me Love' which is so so true. A man's true worth is the worth of his words, if he says it will be there then it will be there, if he cant do it than it cant, this breeds trust and from it the intentions are reveled and perceived by others as "A Man Of His Words"
In others, the raya month opened to me a thought, a thought of the woman that dominates the city, using the beauty and gender to gain favors and the sad part is when they get what they want at the cost of themselves, they actually feel that they have won, that they have prevailed. How can this be when it is an process that is not natural, used and being used, a geisha maybe but thinking that we can cheat through life based on services rendered, makes us cheap. I saw it as most times, people who have long disappear would re-appear during their hard times and they think of you and come back to you, why? its because that they know your kind hearted or a sucker for them. The point here is that, did they ever consider that it was maybe they were the one's used and that their so called "victims" is fully aware of what they are doing and merely enjoying the show? sadly they don't. For them, life is merely a series of weeks and months, thinking short term, they dont want to be poor but rather be "taken" care of and convincing themselves that its is legit. I miss the old romantic ways and the attributes of a lady, a true lady. It hardly exist anymore. In my mind, i know i have tried to show em, to teach em, but alas either i failed or i just gave up. I guess i am not as patient as i use to be. I gave up on love and romantic path because women dont need that or even want that anymore, well not quite true as i do know that some still exist, but majority are like that. They would stay and be miserable , forcing themselves to think they are happy rather than taking a risk and finding a new path. To be fair, some of us do really love the misery, some at others and some to themselves. Still my hope remains, that one day,someone worthy shall come my way and i shall give it all to keep the light. If it was only that simple, hahahahahhah "I want to charm, romance, love, care and miss you all the time, show you the world from a new view, to ensure that you always feel special, to be your knight, to be your hero still being your teddy bear and your best friend, there is only one problem. I dont know who you are." That sums up my stand now. hahahaahhahahaah
Still i am grateful for all talent the God has borrowed me, the blessing that has given me, the guidance that whispered to me, the choices and rezeki that he has put in my path. More importantly, i accept and most thankful for the wars he has thrown me, the love and life that he has taken from me, the hardships he put in my path as this were all the buliding bricks to my own self. it is what that makes me stand, the understanding of my fellow mankind. In short, i am thankful and grateful for those that has stood by my, beleived in me, trusted me in the darkest hour, it is these people that form the wall and brace me when i too lose faith and within them that i find the strgenth to carry on.
As such with life, we should not feel just because in Ramadan we are to be holy and pious, fast because everyone else is, pray the terawih when normally we dont even do the wajib prayers. For such is the way of the world and through my eyes it is sad, not that im being proud as i too am on that ship but the only difference is that i dont give squat about glory, for i rather be remembered as a human being that was humble and as a source that changed peoples life. So go makan sahur and as Raya comes forget not what we spoke about here, of the things in life that can be changed, as life is about choices and do remember that "No Man Is An Island"
Peace
