Shawal..Yet Again
Its that
time of year again, after a month of fasting then raya comes with the
celebration and joy. Maybe im just in foul mood or maybe im just annoyed with
everyone but doesn’t Ramadan brings out the most fake in people? I aint saying
im a saint or anything but every year without fail, so many people suddenly
becomes so religious, preaching so many stuff.
Someone
once told me that Rasul once said that the first and hardest battle a human can
have is with himself. Through a very rough 6 months, it seems that I have lost
all that was dear to me, or so it seems.
A Girl that stole my heart and soul, one that I truly
sacrificed a lot for but in the end she walked away.
A company that was built with endorsements and encouragement
of friends that became partners but in the end it was the same two that
betrayed and set it up for a burn.
A brotherhood that was founded in 2009 and from a obscure
nothing but a cyber café to a company that won guniess book awards and brushed shoulders
with powers such as Tun M and others but
in the end the same source went hell bent to destroy it merely for the sake of neglect
of him.
A friendship that grew from the first event held in Sugai
Petani and grew his event to a world wide international recognition but in the
end greed stole it and drowned it.
I am not sore neither am I being vindictive, im too old for
that, it is just that I am sad that the people that trusted the event and put their
money in it to take a million ringgit event got burned by it.
Every coin has a side and for one story there is always
another but there is no story or reason for another to plan and hijack another
company money on pretense that the company is badly managed and over spending,
how would they know when they are not in it and better yet they were being paid
by the same company? Why? Greed.. and a self confident that they can do it. Thus,
they go paint the town red of how such “saints” they are of stealing the
company money as the “right” thing to do because the company owes them? If life
was based on this then please let our PM know or Tun know, someone better do
the saintly thing and face up on 1MDB then.
The fact that the hijack was done after the event was over,
after all the bills were paid and they collected their payments it seems was
easily forgotten, using hard tactics and guile, it was done as I said as the “right”
thing to do. One would ask if it is the right thing to do then why haven’t they
settle and paid people they owe? From sales of previous event to clients trust
fund money that went missing for over 6 years now? Maybe they forget of the
money spent on their “friends” a free BMW among other things.
There are about a thousand more things that I can share to
prove this, from pictures to whatsapp text records to email to many other
things but unlike them, I don’t go around smudging peoples name, let time speak
and God does his work, I have lost a many things in my life and losing this as
much as it hurts me, it wont kill me and what does not kill me only makes me
stronger.
Actually, I don’t know why am I writing this but it just
feels a bit better I guess, We live in world that is round and whatever goes
around always comes around. Maybe I wont be around when that happens but I don’t
care. As Ramadan was a month of absitencie, Shawal is a month of forgiving. My
father always told me to be kind and forgiving but some things I forgive but
never forget and some I forget but never forgive.
For what matters to me are my family, my mom, step dad and
kids. My mom stood by me in her sickness through it all as she did when my dad
was around. For all they have taken away from me, it is nothing to me, for it
all I can re build with God’s grace, as before it was not me that brought the
success but rather God’s will but the important thing they can never take away
is that of my family. Of what my father taught me and of what I have learned.
As all the Lost Boyz did. This raya will be sad as I cant visit my brothers as I
have failed them but doa and fatihah can be done anywhere and I do it every
night regardless of the month but its just sad I wont be there this year raya
but maybe after.
I am thankful for all that god has given me, the good and the bad. The relationship with my family, the mother and uncle to my kids to a new journey and a new chapter. Yes im wounded and hurt but I am Syed Nong son and i wont go down without a fight.
I am grateful for my Indian brothers that stood by me and together, justice will prevail.
The only other thing that I lost is my chun buri princess, I
had hoped that she would be strong enough to love me but in the end, even she
walked away. I will neve know why but all I know that I had prayed for her to
stay and god willing, I let her go, for if its true love then she will return
to me.
To everyone, I wish a very good Eid tomorrow, Remember for
what we strive in this world, in the end it is our actions, niat and intentions
that will make us what we are and what we will be remembered by, it is always
easy to blame others use others but when we are buried and face Al-mighty then
only it counts. For me the battle for my kids future is utmost importance and I
despised those that has hurt that and will never forgive for things for their personal
gain and ego. Maybe get another shout out video or what ever but when they
sleep, as long as they sleep, we know what happen and having worldy gains is
maybe worth their efforts.
I am nobody to preach anyone, I just see things thru my
eyes.
