Farewell Ramadan 14

Its about 1 am and im home. Just finished with the kids and preparing for bed. The truth is its hard to sleep, been having sleeping issues, well not all the time, just missing something that i need.

A whole month of June gone by and July is leaving us in a few days, we start the last 6 months of the year. Ramadan is also sadly leaving us with the dawn of Shawal coming. In my writing, i think that this would be my forth raya online, things change and yet they stay the same, My life  has evolved to changed, the kids are getting bigger and i do have someone to call my own, well its a start, well wishers and others. The world as it seems to be spinning to wildly on its axis.

The loss of MH370 still haunts the world and in the midst of all that, MH17 gets shot down over Russia. How ironic is that? As we stumble through the grief and sadness, we are shocked by the audacity of the Israeli government of attacking and killing in Gaza, Where are the powers of the world? USA would not blink twice if it was Iran or Iraq, within 24 hours they would be there but since its Israel then all they do is talk. Talk. Talk is cheap, everyone can talk. Take it from me that i have been through it many times, months of meeting people, I was amazed that someone would give up an easy life in the dark world and take a bold step to chase their dream, A dream that is surely filled with hardship but boldy the person faces it and i for one will stand by her side in all the turmoils.

The world needs love, we as humans of the world, We merely sit and sigh and whine, we ask people to join our prayers and yet we do not do anything at all, Someone told me, instead of making police reports, social media blizzard, why don't we all write a petition and send it to world leaders and put that on facebook, that is doing something. LOVE, that is what we need, love sets us free and love makes us bold, strong and daring, Love of our country, Love of Family and Love of our spouse, that was why Afghanistan could not be defeted by Russia or USA, even with old rifles and not technology or even airplanes, They won the war.

As we all celebrate a whole of fasting, lets us not forget the lost of others, Mh370 and MH 17, to me the unknown fate of MH 370 is far sadder than MH 17 but a loss is still a loss, be thankful for your life, the things that is not lost and grateful for what we have, even if the days get dark and stormy, worry not, whine not but be grateful in the knowing fact that the sun will still shine come tomorrow.

Peace folks

Batteries Needed

**Delayed Posting-Ws meant for June**
Whoa..almost missed the June month, Well better late than never i always say. Dont be surprised that this is done at 1250 noon and not the usual 3-6am...heck i havent slept at all... no no it wasnt the world cup football... it was more of a storm... anyhow.. here i am.

It almost 2 days till Zaki's birthday and i still wish he was here and there is not a day that goes by that i wish i had him or i was with him. This month has been a month of a roller coster ride, work wise there are many decesions that needs to be done and many things that i have to decide. As i said before this time around, i live my life for me and no one else. a turmoil of emotions and feelings. Yet thru the barricades, we push thru.

Love, such is the mystery of the word, a world of fantasy and magic, Why magic? magic because of what it can do, the magical things that would one would never think of, Flying thousands of miles to see a smile, to cook a special dish, to have a bed full of rose petals, to bring smile and laughter for these are magical moments, Fantasy because of the things you feel you can do and the intimate quiet night staring into each other eyes no need for food or anything . For most, love feeds them, it is the fuel for the soul, it makes us strong, daring and bold. We fight for love, we do things for love. To do deeds or to work hard to accomplish a goal for a loved one the things we do to keep love alive, silently changing ourselves so that we may be able to keep the love one with us. And so, millions of people search for love, millions would abuse it while millions more yearn for it. There are but a few that are scared of it, although they prayed for it and allowed love in their hearts, yet it scares them, unable to take the negative to positive, My dad use to say, you can take a horse to the water but you cant force it to drink. I have fought for what i want all my life, to find that someone that can calm my raging thoughts and shackle the demons within, they have been a few that crossed my path and yet i never expected to find it merely 5 months ago(almost 5) and it was never easy, i had resisted and tried to hold back, in the end i just let it flow and the things about me that would annoy others only made me more lovable to her and all the things about her that she thought would drive me away only made me even closer to her, Yet, it is never enough and sadly the reason was i guess my curse and that as always brought disaster.

How do you fight for someone that does not want to fight? being the fool that i am, i gave in my all and yet its like quick sand and slowly i am sinking. Holding on with all might, yet even the mighty fall and the words of " If you love something then let them go" comes to play. I always worry that she wont come back .

What is life all about? the million dollar question and one that no one have the answers, If it was never meant to be than why did it ever cross your path and no problems arise, except the one we create and make it up on our own.

As i sit here and my heart is bleeding badly, it is amazing how cold a person can be, all for no reason but in their own mind, Where this will lead? all i know i gave it my all and it just wasn't good enough. For those of you out there, be strong, have faith and never give up on love, it is the most magical serum for life. Live your life. Find you path.