Kierra&Iddraqi
The day starts as usual with the kids and everyone busy getting ready for Raya but as the kids preparations are ready and most of the house is ready, i could not stay home so i went out for a drive. The house TV kinda went kaput and tryong to find a remote control, took me to 8 shops and in the end i ended up buiyng a TV. Then it was the trip to visit my brothers.
Its been a while since i visited them, The cherry tree has grown so big and the leaves covers them now, sitting down to clean the sites, brings tears to my eyes, i can never truly accept the fact that they are gone and im still here. Seems like a cruel joke, being the eldest, why would i still be here. I remember the chat we use to have, them getting married.. having kids..and now with my being divorced, its just me and mom left to raise the kids.During these past months, i have seen people walk away from things thay love and some shying away from those that would love them. Either be lovers or family but when we say we accept you, or love you or care for you (lover or family) doesnt that mean all the way? if among brothers argue till punching blows or pushing people in public or worse case scenarios, we do not kick them off our life? Like as easy kicking people out of FB or BB? in whatever matters, we cannot actually give up do we? that is the essence of love, the meaning of care. If your sister or brother hurt you, dont tell me we can simply kick them out? (yah yah i know some really do) but maybe a factor of age that they do not see it, because the is a reason for the act of forgiveness and acceptance. (heck it is that time of year isnt it) seems that its sad people just cant see it, rather give in to emotions and ego, take it from me in all my years, My Ex has had some really nasty wars but she is now a best friend and the kids benefits from it, yah we could have prolong the war and make it worse but why would we want to do that? now she has her life and moves along while keeping in touch. So the next time you want to kick someone out or cut off communication, think again, remember that God is watching and ask yourself, are you that proud and arrogant to stop friendship or family?
Then there are some that are so scared of a new journey that they hide behind a shell, If you keep reminding them of the importunity in front of them then they will say your pushing them and pestering them. Yes they have been hurt and pain is a part of life, how we forgive, forget and learn from it makes life worth living, for its better to love and lost than not love at all (moulin rogue) Why must here be pain? pain reminds us that we are alive and it is our life teacher, it is what makes us better, builds the character and flavors our soul so learn from it, take a chance, jump with your eyes close, whatever that does not kill you only makes you stronger.
I am writing this today is because i visited my brothers and as usual, a thousand and a million memories flood through me, how i wish i could have said and done things to show them how much they matter to me, how much i loved them. And though people do prayers tonight and visit graves on Raya morning, i am proud to know that they and my dad, my grandfather, my uncles, pakcik Sardi and those friends that have return to Al-Mighty is always in my nightly prayers and i do not need to have kenduri to show people as long as i know and they know. So many times, i long for my brothers and father, And that is why i write this, in hopes that it would stir something in you, YES YOU!. because life is just too short and surely unexpected so live life to the fullest, keep those that you love close and accept the feelings that you have to those you love or like, build something, create an oppurtunity for ego, pride and fear benefits NO ONE.
So as you get ready for Raya tomorrow with those that are closest to you, dont forget those that you have hurt, those that are waiting for you, those that want you but more importanly those that need you. Think of them, for one day as time and age catch up, you would be sitting with tears in your eyes asking the two words "WHAT IF"
Peace and selamat Hari Raya folks.
