It’s a been a while since I wrote, Well been busy, work and life taking its toll. Today, lets talk something that has been in my mind this past couple of days. Have I really become a softy? LOL. I mean people can seem to do what ever they want and frankly I am just CBF to do anything about it. They say one thing and do another thing, they take away your position but want you to do your job the same, want to know and check on everything but they also have duel lives which they want to keep it away from you. All this makes me wonder, have I really gone soft or has the world changed so much? If the world is changing so much then what kind of world will my children grow up in? I get scared when I read about girls being raped by a whole gang and it was their boyfriend that started it. Trust and commodity that is very hard to find and earn and keep. TRESURE it.
The world is hard enough as it is, the closer you think you are to the truth the further you are from it. Even in work, it is hard to maintain, there people always out to get you, waiting for the pitfall and mistakes, once it happens they jumped on it and shove it up your face. The best part no one and I mean NO ONE tracks the good stuff you did, just the bad stuff. You can do a million good things but 1 things goes bad and that is the one your stuck with. People are also unfair, its hard to find trustworthy people I guess, you know that it is an issue when you constantly feel used, when there is problem or when they need something then your on top but when your usefulness cease to matter then you get chucked aside. I want my kids to grow up with the right value in life, learn to appreciate the beauty of others, not only the fault of others, as sometimes it is their faults that attracted you to them in the first place. Nowdays, my soul is cold and lonely but my kids, their antics keep me entertained and fueled. Why people keep pushing you or hammering you for your old faults but its ok for them to keep their faults quiet or even have a separate private life that they want you out but everything you do have to declare, if not they snoop and dig. I have given up hope on this and for now, I just want to get by and raise my kids and improve my job, let the needs of my heart, soul and body go on fasting, its been months of fasting so what a couple months more, I leave to GOD and truly for the 1st time accept what he delivers on to me. Let the demons play and try to advocate that there is some hanky panky going on, let them, I don’t really care anymore, Ramadan is coming and soon, my brothers and father would be able to come and visit, I want them to see their niece and nephew (grand daughter and grand son) if I suffer then let me suffer not my kids, if I die, let them grow up to be upstanding people, let them be honest people.
For what its worth, let us prepare for Ramadan and as this is the time of taubat and prayers, I want to try and do more, god knows I have negelated my brothers and father and grand parents for a long time, matters of the heart? I cant do much already, its slipping away, treat other like how you want to be treated and remember that GOD is there, so I leave it to him. Please god, prolong and give me more happy times and peaceful time, keep away the doubts and demons from me. Take care of us that are on your earth and keep those that you have taken close to you. AMIN.
