The little things

Its the little things that she does that bind me,

The look in her eyes when she first looked at me,
The way her voice soften when she knows its me,
The laugh that is contagious of the joke we share,
The way plans she would make when we meet.

The way she fuss over my non shaved face,
The effort she put to make sure i look good,
The work she did to color my hair,
How she would take the time to cut my nails.

Her pinch of love that she would give,
Her bites to me that thrills me,
Her kiss so rare but makes my heart skip a beat,
Her touch of pleasure that keeps me begging.

Her smooth skin that feels like porcelian,
Her body curves that drive me while with desire,
Her firm yet soft figure that makes me wild,
Her soft moans and gasp that leave me wanting more.

Her naughty nature that teases me,
Her jokes and remarks that makes me laughter,
Her sense of concern for my well being,
Her questions that show me she cares.

The way she wipes my spoon before we eat,
How she makes me try things i would never do,
How she feeds me and make sure im fed,
How she would want only the best for us.

The look of wanting that she has hidden in her,
Her longing for love and care that she hides,
Her pampering and caring side tjat she keeps close,
And her wants to be loved and understood.
For she wants to be accepted as she is.

These are a few of the things of her that i miss,
And it is only just the smallest of things.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Jalan Purnama,Alor Setar,Malaysia

The week that was

Its has been a hectic week, with many presentations, tragedy of the heart and tragedy of the phones.

i have never been one to lose data but somehow i didnt backup my phone and on a tdc dinner, someone by accident(i think it was) into the pool. Therefore, all my data was gone, all three phones: the iphone4 , Blackberry torch and HTC Sensation..

The week started in KL, with a berjaya and telecom presentation, later to celebrate and brief the bosses, i was in the ship but a tragedy happen, due to mis communication and such, i lost the woman who holded my heart, truth in fact, she also was not really taking care of us as well, maybe it was for the best. after the tragedy it was a trip to Penang for TDC minister dinner and a birthday for my GM, and that was when i fell into the pool. the next day, a rush to the airport, to see the man of Malaysia, Tun Mahatir for WCA-C&C.

It was a good meeting and he was happy and supportive, so C&C and WCA is going to be bigger and grander now. Back to A.S then jumped back to Penang for a movie styled apology but it never happen, i was tempted to buy a ticket and go in as they did in the movies but somehow, something stopped me, maybe her response was not what i expected. Her arrogance and ego, was like she is some diva and i am unworthy mortal thus i tried and did my best. If she comes back, she knows the way to me, although if too late i wont be there at all... anyway God is always great and thru him i gain strength .

I'm Sorry Goodbye

"he sat there reading the lyrics of the song, a single tear escapes his eye as he knows that this time there is no turning back, this time there is no more rescue, it is really over and she is walking away, the lyrics says it all,

His heart ache and his mind conjures up the history of them,

no one will be like her,

He misses the way she cares for him, cleaning up, taking of his clothes and room when he is in the city

He misses her supportive nature in his work, always asking and giving him stregenth in his tough times of work

He misses her passion and romance when they have been apart too long, the long kisses, the long nights 2gether

He misses all the times they stayed up and chit chat, holding each other till morning comes

He recalls how she was by his side at his uncles dinner,clapping and being proud of his performance for her

He recalls the happinest when he introduced her to his family during the dinner

He recalls the joy they had when they danced together that night

He is proud that she never lied to him about her work or meetings,karaoke or movies with others

He is appricites that she is never blindly jelouse of small things like artis picture or facebook postings

He remembers how she helped him prepare for his bangkok trip in aninternational tournument

He recalls her concern and worry when she heard of his knee injury in Bangkok

He remembers how she nurse him on his injury after he returned from Bangkok

He recalls her concern on him when he played for the next tournument as he was still injured

He is proud about her support and motivation on his team for their tournument

He remembers that wild and passionate nights they shared

He is proud of her soft demoure and never hitting or creating a scene

And all in all, he misses her presence in his life, the claming effect she has.

What he does not know was that all this only happen in his mind and it is a dream that he is missing, for this acts only happen when two people love and care for each other. And for months he tried, how he had sacrificed, fulfilling her needs and wants, he was for most times, chasing after a dream, for ever filling the empty slot with hope and excuses for her. It was never her fault, it was him. For her love for him was not true, it was more of a passing feeling, a partial love and that is why she is unable to do what he thought she did. One day, she will find her true love or another and even in the person never treat her as good, not as understanding, not spuuortive as he did but theirs will work because she would do what she never did for him. She would open up and make sacrifices to accept as the person is and the love and care will flow, he will be crushed as they love grow but life is such. I'm sorry goodbye."

In all, it is far easier to find fault of others, to make excuses to walk away and blame the other party, true love requires sacrifice and understanding, people makes mistakes for that is why we are called humans but our actions dictactes our direction. As a parent cannot stop loving a bad child, a best friend stays by his/her best friend even if the person is a jerk, we find happiness but some how, many try to find reasons, faults and excuses to make the happiness fail while others try to look past the short comings and focus on the goodnees to ensure the happiness grows. Which are we? the guy in the story is far from perfect but he tried while the girl is an beauty but she chooses to ignore the good that he had, his patience, supportive and love but rather hold back, so thiers would be a doomed journey.

Making mistakes are easy, learning from them and setting the pace for the future to avoid the mistake is what mature people do, what adults do to ensure the relationship grows. If you are in a rocky relationship, what fights happen, when he makes mistakes or she does, take 5 mins and remember the thing that made you for in love with the person in the first place and trust me the anger will disapper as you discover that its better to have a bit of rain as long as the sunshine is warm enough to dry the tears. If not, then I'm Sorry Goodbye.

Peace.

Of things done

Its has been a while since i posted my blog, espicially of things that we dont want to listen. This past month has been a roller coster ride for me,in terms of the matter of the heart. In the end as Linkin Park said...

As relationship grows, we try and find things and grow together. But yet at times,not matter how hard we try it will still hit problems, we compare of past relationships,wanting the same kind of treatment. Scarificies are what makes things work. In the journey, we try to adapt, for some we pray that she will change, shower her love and care, but yet it does not happen and we are left waiting.

Times, we are constantly convincing her that we are worth it, pushing to make the relationship work. The relationship grows but times its kind of loop sided. We have to always need to consider the feelings of others, maybe our best friends will standby us but they too will soon find their own path and will go in search of love as well, what of us then?

We always try to find the perfect match for us and most times oppsite attracts, want someone who can accept our flaws not merely love us for the god. True love happens went we accept the flaws of our partners, to put them above us, its hard to understand but its true, our ang,ego,fears and doubts. To be able to call her and just talk about our fears, to hear the words "dont worry everything will be alright" or " do your best, i know you can do it, worry not i will be here,wheater you win or lose"

When we care and ask about what she is doing or she ask you what you are doing, we take it the wrong way and things they are trying to control but in actual fact, they are trying to share so they will be things to talk about. But yet its must be both way, for if not the than the other party will feel negelated, dpressed and will eventualy probelem will arise.

Butthru it all, i do not regret even one day because i learned from it, i cherised it and i value it. At times as a singer once sang "kita hanya mampu merancang namun hanya tuhan yang tentukan" as everything else in life, if we dont work for it than it will never happen, a great singer or actor will not shine if no work is out in refining their art and skills. Same with relationship, mistakes will happen and there will be tears among the joy for that is life, so take a hold of what you have, value them, better to grow what you have than dream for things that will never come. God works in mysterious ways, sometimes he makes it hard so that we are able to learn and see the mistakes, be a better person and in turn be kind to others. Love what you have, for if it walks than it would be too late. Take it for a man who has lost much in hus life but yet i try and everyday i wake up, i pray for a better day than yesterday.

Peace.

Location:Lorong Teratai Merah 1,Alor Setar,Malaysia