First lets digest what the word means, according to wikipedia:
Denial is a defense mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence. [1] The subject may use:
- simple denial - deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether
- minimisation - admit the fact but deny its seriousness, or
- projection - admit both the fact and seriousness but deny responsibility
From wikipedia:
Types of Denial
Denial of fact: In this form of denial, someone avoids a fact by lying. This lying can take the form of an outright falsehood (commission), leaving out certain details to tailor a story (omission), or by falsely agreeing to something (assent, also referred to as "yessing" behavior). Someone who is in denial of fact is typically using lies to avoid facts they think may be painful to themselves or others.
Denial of responsibility: This form of denial involves avoiding personal responsibility by blaming, minimizing or justifying. Blaming is a direct statement shifting culpability and may overlap with denial of fact. Minimizing is an attempt to make the effects or results of an action appear to be less harmful than they may actually be. Justifying is when someone takes a choice and attempts to make that choice look okay due to their perception of what is "right" in a situation. Someone using denial of responsibility is usually attempting to avoid potential harm or pain by shifting attention away from themselves.
Denial of impact: Denial of impact involves a person's avoiding thinking about or understanding the harms his or her behavior has caused to self or others. Doing this enables that person to avoid feeling a sense of guilt and it can prevent him or her from developing remorse or empathy for others. Denial of impact reduces or eliminates a sense of pain or harm from poor decisions.
Denial of awareness: This type of denial is best discussed by looking at the concept of state dependent learning[3]. People using this type of denial will avoid pain and harm by stating they were in a different state of awareness (such as alcohol or drug intoxication or on occasion mental health related). This type of denial often overlaps with denial of responsibility.
Denial of cycle: Many who use this type of denial will say things such as, "it just happened." Denial of cycle is where a person avoids looking at their decisions leading up to an event or does not consider their pattern of decision making and how harmful behavior is repeated. The pain and harm being avoided by this type of denial is more of the effort needed to change the focus from a singular event to looking at preceding events. It can also serve as a way to blame or justify behavior (see above).
Denial of denial: This can be a difficult concept for many people to identify with in themselves, but is a major barrier to changing hurtful behaviors. Denial of denial involves thoughts, actions and behaviors which bolster confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one's personal behavior. This form of denial typically overlaps with all of the other forms of denial, but involves more self-delusion.
Case Study:
Subject X and Y share 2 treasures, after being separated, X & Y decides that the treasures would be shared between them. On the day that X had to take the treasures, one of them fell ill. X gave her consent to just take one treasure while the other recuperates, then later when it was time X to take the treasures again, X could not follow Y's schedule because Y had an important pre-planned evening, therefore X could only take one treasure as she claims that to take the other one also because it was too hard to drive therefore again she gave her consent, BUT on the day X was suppose to return the treasures, she decided to RUN and send an note to say that she is going to run and hide and Y cannot see his treasure unless he agrees to give X the treasure. When reminded about the other treasure, only did X wanted it as well. Y of course got angry and accused X of breaking the agreement and taking the treasure as hostage and kidnap. Even till the end, X insist that Y cannot have the treasure unless he gives in to his demand. As the days drag by, X wanted to come to collect some stuff and informed Y, Y said dont you want to see the other treasure? X said yes of course, but it must be to her sechedule. Y refuse because the treasure is fragile and plans were already made for the day and gave a timeline from 430pm till 8pm BUT X said cannot, she insists on her timeline, in the end the treasure missed out because X could not sacrifice her time for the treasure. In all this drama, X maintains that she is not wrong and although it was her that ended everything and made it worse by running and holding the other treasure hostage, till now her blog shouts her innocence and though Y has made and gave many roads to patch things up, X still is stubborn to hold all to ransom and must follow her way although there are many eveidence of her demands, threats and indecisiveness, X plays an old trump card although X conveninently hides and ignores her own short coming and errors, therefore my readers, can you please point out to which type of DENIAL is X suffering from?
A typical attitude of someone suffering from this (from wikipedia):
DARVO: An acronym to describe common strategy of abusers: Deny the abuse, then Attack the victim for attempting to make them accountable for their offense, thereby Reversing Victim and Offender. Psychologist Jennifer Freyd[4]. writes:
"...I have observed that actual abusers threaten, bully and make a nightmare for anyone who holds them accountable or asks them to change their abusive behavior. This attack, intended to chill and terrify, typically includes intimidation, overt and covert attacks on the whistle-blower's credibility, and so on..... [T]he offender rapidly creates the impression that the whistle-blower is the wronged one, while the victim or concerned observer is depicted as the offender. Figure and ground are completely reversed... The offender is on the offense and the person attempting to hold the offender accountable is put on the defense.
Therefore, please always remember, when you point at someone there are 3 fingers pointing back at you. the road to recovery is to admit our short comings and errors, only then we can work towards curing ourselves. if your partner or friend still has this kind od denial, it would be very hard to talk or reason to them because they seriously believe in thier own made up story and excuses, therefore no matter how hard you try, it would be hard to break through. the only way is to gain professional help or let the matter come to head, as then the professional people can make the decision for the sick person. be strong and stand by them BUT never give in or allow or worse believe the story because then you also will get lost and lose your sense of right and wrong..trust me i have been there.
till then...happy hunting folks.
