Its the 28th and only a few days left till the the start of a new year. As commented by a very close and dear friend recently,"Psi, you hade a very tough 2 years" in many sense, i cannot agree with him more. Going on in writing this, i guess pages and pages of whining can be produced but as usual, in is within this space that i take a step back and review things..thru my eyes.
Goodbye
A wise person told me today that in order to progress and heal oneself, we must "redha" accept what is given to us and move on. through this troubled times,it is far easy to say "get over it" or "be Strong" For it is the human weakness that in times of hardship or depression that we tend to hang on and constantly remind ourselves of the past, the pain and trying to analyze where it went wrong. This puts us in a dark and cold place.
Thus,instead of saying goodbye to the misery of the year, the failed and wasted 5 years, the pain, the lies and the loss that has happen. I say goodbye to year 2009, of Adik starting to walk and forming words. A year of when Kierra started going to pre-school,A celebration of my brothers wedding and many other happy memories.
I thank 2009 for bringing me closer to the famliy, to the uncles and cousins, to allow them to know me as i am getting to know them. For opening new opportunities and partnerships and for allowing the spark of hope to blossom, which leads a new beginning.
There is no denying the pain,misery and heartache that came with the lies,deceit and loss but we prevail and 2009 has shown me that there others too out there that constantly struggle in this life to make this life the best it can be.They too has been cheated,lied to and constantly put down but they strive as i too learn to strive to be better and rise above it all. We are humans afterall and we learn, look not to the dark clouds and shiver but rather at the thin silver lining and rejoice.
Hello's
The year 2010, brings forth new hope, new relationships and new beginnings. New battles and new wars, though in essence it is the same war but on a new field. It gives me new hope to carry on and burning the torch, to find a true soul to share the fights, to lend my strength to those in need and my wisdom to those who desire it. I pray the al-mighty god that he gives the strength to face the test that he puts up for me. i look forward to the changes in store and the challenges ahead. May it bring a brighter future for my children and I. I will find a way to bring my 2 children together and not deny them what is god given to them.
I finally "redha" for the lost of the 5 years, let the pain,misery and loss be my fuel to press on and make a stand, My daughter, for when you question this part of your life, i pray that this will later help you understand,i am trying and will never stop trying to bring you safety home. I understand now, why God planned it this way, trying to clean the foul from my life and i know in my heart that i have given it all to work it out but there are somethings in life that even the purest of things cannot clean. yes,it hurts and yes it drives to a point of madness but for all this is why we have God to turn to and to ask his favor. Let us pray and prepare ourselves for a brighter 2010, a harder and challenging journey, take my hand and lets us start this journey together.
Ina&Joe-Finally Langkawi Hari YSB 09 Amy&Watif**So Many good memories...no space already**Izzati Athira Darulaman Sunway
