Saturday, November 21, 2015

Flying Swan

The Flying Swan

“He sits and watches the sky, wondering if she will ever fly back or perhaps fly by. In the not too distant past, he recalls when he first found her, the swan of his life.
It was in the month of October that he found her, she had quarrelled with her mate and had problems in her nest, he had found her and took her in his life, offering her shelter and comfort, trying as hard as his can to cure her pain and bring joy to his swan. She could not fly too high back then and even if she did, to other areas she would leave and fly out but still as always she would fly back to him and he would be faithfully waiting for her return.
At a time when he had moved on and gave up on most of the world, he found her and she taught him of many things, as time passed, they grew closer and more intimate though he knew it was an impossible match, she being a flying swan while he is but a mere mortal. Theirs was a tough journey. Yet, through it all, she taught him patience, compassion and understanding and within her he found the sounds of the world going silent and for a rare moment he found the quietness of peace. Although her flight was far often as she got better and further and further she would fly away from him, yet she always found her way to him and never failed to make him feel wanted, missed and loved. For theirs was a match that was blessed by the stars and guided by the heavens.
In one of her flights, something terrible happen as she lost one of her closest flock and she came down to earth. He had tried to consul her but looking at her flight, he wrongly decided to let her fly away, he did the unthinkable and he walked away. She moved on and tried to find a match within her realm while he tried to hide the pain by trying to cover up with other matters but yet one cannot run away from destiny and fate, their path crossed yet once again.
He came looking for her and did so to win her heart and for months he had tried and tried, for a while she seemed to opened up and looked like there was hope for them. Although he wanted more, he wanted what was lost or something far better for both of them. But her new found flight path drew her further and further away from him
He looked at his loved swan as she slept, tired of a hard day of flying, he puts away his needs and wants, how he wants to be in her arms, how he wants her comfort, how he wants to see that glow of love in her eyes , how he misses their long chats and jokes and tease, he puts it all away in dire hopes to find peace and be there for her, and yet he could not hold back the hints and notes he left behind to say that she is forgetting him  as he cannot seem to find a place in her life anymore as she is unable to come into his. As hard as he has to admit, as much pain that it will bring him, he knows that he has to let her go, he must let her fly. Fly to find her path, fly to find her route but yet provide the needs to ensure that her flight is uninterrupted, giving her a roof when she is in need of rest and to feed her while she is in need of food.
In her he had found hope, that there would be a better tomorrow, a brighter future and an everlasting love but for now, it will remain just that, HOPE as he knows that she needs to fly and him being there will only tie her down, weighting a heavy burden on her shoulders. He does not want to be crossed with her when she cannot provide the comfort and needs that he is accustomed to from her in the past. He knows the pain will come, yet again it will come and for another winter will come to his soul, freezing his heart and breaking it into a thousand pieces.

In his minds eye, he sees the her future, how she will prosper in her flight, excel in her path she has chosen, it kills him that he will never be able to be by her side, as he knows he cannot. He is not built that way, he is far too selfish to share her with the world and so he decides to let her fly on her own, let the world have her and sacrifice himself in the process, all in the name of love.
Yet till the end of time, you can always find him suddenly lost in his thoughts as a sad painful cloud descends over him and no matter how hard he tries to hide it, the eyes do not lie and it is in his eyes that the pain and sorrow manifest, the pain of losing and missing her, the flying swan that captured his soul and one that he gave his love to. He wonders and prays that one day, she will fly back to him, shower him with love and care as only she can. One can almost hear him whisper daily in his nightly prayers “Fly swan, fly higher and soar, as you make me proud, go with my love and fly with my heart, although i cannot fly by your side, forget not that i shall always be watching from the ground, ever ready to catch you should you tire and weary to fly anymore, until then fly my beautiful swan
End. “

A Psimaster Story- Dedicated to my flying swan