Parting Notes

*20/09/2015* For that someone neither there or here.. 

.seems i cant get thru to u (again) and asking me to go s___e is pointless because if i didn't go there when u not work there more so i wont go when ur working there because i do t feel like fool alone when ur working with other man. The fact that ur hiding and wont even call or see me proves that u r denying ur feelings on pretext that makes u strong. When u can let others buy u but wont let me buy u out for dinner... this like my last grasp to tell u...

I know i can accept ur work as long i can block the demons out of my mind. Just a call daily from u..texting each other and text and call when ur home is all i need. We have done this before so we should be ok.
My plan? Well financial side im getting there alrdy and getting bigger. The plan was when or if u come back work kl then we rent an apartment ..u can stay with ur friends and i can be there also. Then once my restaurant and resort opens u can slowly start something on ur own and get out of thr night life. Not like the bang sean,that one my fault that i didnt push for it. U knoe when we put money there,my plan was after wca to stay there with u and rotate my timing for my kids. Get a husky dog..but well that didnt work out..so onwards to my next project.

There are times now that I ask myself why am i still a fool for u. Chasing u everyday and hoping when u dont even care for me at all, yes bfr u come there was the darling puppi and even saying im back eith u but aft that buyout..u have gone cold. What u hiding in ur social media also i dont knoe,if nothing then why block and hide?
Anyway back to the question, i dont give up on u because  i miss ur company

.chatting talking and enjoying esch other..playing pool watching video or just sit and talk. I miss you. Hearing ur stories and telling u mine. That i guess hardest to replace. In ur line of work surely there are many man that are better richer younger than me but i sincerely believe that none will love for u sacrifice for u and give u happiness and pleasure as i do because its the same with me..no one can be the next you as there is only one you.
How u respond to this note is unknown,are u gonna be human and admit or be cold and ignore but time and god is always there and over time should i still feel the same then in forver time i shall be waiting for u..or possibly we lose each other like ur ex bf and such. Weird is that no one in my past compares to how i feel for u and its such a waste to lose us. There are a million ways to work things out as long compramise are there. Well. Just wanted to say that i miss you.

*Unfortunately after i was hospitalized for 3 months, a week ago i found out that she is pregent and the guy dumped her so she is now a single mom. So much for the beautiful words "your the only one" "there can never be another" bla bla but we human are such, why am i in so much pain? not only her but family cousins uncles friends all do the same, betray lie and some robbed in broad daylight. Perhaps i too should do what they say i did and return the favor in vigor but as my beloved mom always tell me, u dont need to be dirt to get rid of it just sweep them away. Only she bothers me as there far too many sacrifices i made for her.. well i learn.. and learn why did i even opened up was and will be mystery. i have maybe and surely wronged others so i guess i should not be complaining but heck thats wat we humans do best.. WHINE hahhahahahah

Well..its been a while since i wrote and i guess i will start writing again soon.... 

till then

Peace.  

Once ....

My life and soul.truly

the last picture i have