ITs late and finally my daughter is asleep. Today she turned 7 years old (16th June) Seems only like yesterday that she was born into this world. How times flies. As i sit and ponder about sleep, my mind drifts on the next 7 years, when she is a teenager and when the world as we know today has but changed... yet again.
How will the world be for her? being a single father, i am struck by the fake, pretense and selfish of the woman of today, or maybe its just the company that i keep yet i pray she will never grow up to be even a shadow of them. Since the dawn of the 2009, on my re-birth to this world, i admit that i may have dreamed, hope and prayed for the search of that special person. Many entered this life and few came close but in the end, this past 2 weeks, as my times are darken by dark clouds, i tend to see things from a different shade of light.
When beauty is measured by the size of one's bra, the curves of one's hips or even the fairness of one's skin. The women of today is more measured in terms of money and beauty rather than honesty and loyalty, the old days are long forgotten, nowadays, women can fight, kick or slap you or even plan to ruin your life. They are no longer demure, tender or soft. These days, its all about money, who can pay their bills, buy them stuff, take them shopping, splurge obscene amount of money for birthdays, vacations, and other stuff, Now don't get me wrong, this existed from the start of time, as Men are to be provider BUT somehow the world of today has forgotten that Women are the queen and comforter of your soul. My dad use to say,
let the be chaos elsewhere but let there be serenity at home. Woman fail to understand the notion of behind
a successful man is always a strong woman. Man needs motivation and encouragement, work harder to make sure that they can afford the luxury to their women but at times, its the woman of today that tend to take things for granted, rather we have those that use man, ask for money, rent and bills or what not but scared to commit and wiling to run, yet some are even worse as they have not one nor two but many man being string along to comfort their lives. In this day and age, with technology and advancement, we forget of the simple things, the things that binds human to each other from the dawn of time. CARE. care comes at no price but the value cannot be measured by money, a person that is wiling to go extra mile and push the limits on the request or the need of others,Care is when you ask about the wellbieng of another WITHOUT any thought of advantage, Care is when you do things without thinking the cost to you, Care is to treat the person that has done much as a human being rather than a tool, some say the candle mode while some say its a gentleman but yet in truth, for old school people (like yours truly) these new phase or virtue is hard for me to understand. Rather this day and age, candles are forgotten but rather, Man are chewed like bubble-gum, after your done with the flavor you spit it out.
I pray that my daughter will grow up without this sense of or traits of the new age, let her be kind and gentle, not obsed with wealth and beauty, for some are so concerned about being the most beautiful that they forget for whom their beauty is dedicated to. Some are so struck by beauty and ego(it is a package thing) that they feel ashamed to be seen or let others know the ties that you have with them, rather better to ask and implore their wants and needs in shadows but show off in the light. Some are lost in their misguided attempt to find happiness that it kills them silently but yet living in a delusional world that they are happy, Some are miserable in their life, being slapped and kicked around but yet gets up everyday thinking that today it will be different. Some are focused on the failure of GOD that does not grant them their JODOH but yet many a times GOD has given a sign but in the swell of ego and pride, chooses to ignore it. Throwing away their need for something they want, no matter if what they want is harmful to them, only to realized in years to come that they have wasted their life and yet sit to comfort themselves by blaming GOD for not showing them a sign. GOD is always there for u but as family members are taken away, bad luck or temptations come,they are but merely signs from him to test our resolve. For GOD only help those that help them selves, if its meant to be then it will be, a funny notion full of irony, for even the most talented sports person or star, if they did not try, or endure the test of GOD would never be the person that they are. Don't believe me? ask any successful person in this world, there is sure a truck load of sob stories or painful hardship that they had to endure to arrive or be what they are. Still yet, we forget and we comfort ourselves to blame GOD. I have met many of them in this last few years and still they wound me, for as much hope and faith i have had for them, they never did have any hope or faith in themselves, rather they take things for granted and abuse what you give them. Sad, but that is how the world is now. Even brothers and friends, even at times in the past when you have proven over and over of your ability to produce success but at times of hiccups and problems, they turn against you, take and never give, convinced and comforted by their own logic and reasoning while their brothers and friends drown as they watch from the comfort of their ship. I have never felt so disgusted and tired of this fake world, of friendship that are one sided, bolstered by ego and fueled by pride. Have we lost our senses? for what ever happen to budi? When we help without taking or thinking of a return? of a time when we accept people for what they are and standby them for who they can be, but now it is more of what can they give me and how soon can i get it. We tend to forget, just because we have tits and ass, dangle some flirt along the way, makes us feel the right to demand and ask for money and favors, we have become a fake society, a society that is based on values that can bought and sold, i worry about the future, not for me as i have passed my time and stopped my search but for my children. i fear for them.
As night grows dark and the roar of crowds for the Euro 2012 beacons, i take my leave and pray that by daylight comes, i will have a bit of faith restored in these tired bones of mine, as i look into the eyes of my children, my daughter and son, their smiles and joy but hidden pain in there as they know that i am but a single father, and no future mother is in sight, it cracks my soul and even those closest to me simply rather ignore the fact less we drown ourselves in other matters, i weep for the lost , i weep for my children, who do their best to hide heir hurt from me, of how they need the touch of a woman in their life, the soft and yet motherly feel of which no amount of money can ever buy, and that folks is TRUE BEAUTY.
Peace.
P/S: Tonight i present to you Sharifah Zakierra Shahabudin BT Syed Sherezal Shahabduin.
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| The real reason for my WCA |
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| going to school..the night before |
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| reunited |
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| Worried at her brother's screening |
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| Toddler Uniform |
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| 5 Years and growing |
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| When adik could still pass a few words |
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| With her cousin afik. |
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| Genting Trip |
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| Shoe day(women and shoes hahaha) |
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| Trying out the tudung |
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| The hair...walid the hair |
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| Kenduri |
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| Makan durian yummy |
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| Happiness... to her it was almost a dream come true |
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| From school |
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| The yesteryears |
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| Who can resist? |
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| The hiphop |
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| Sunway Pyramid |
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| Cheeky |
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| Best student |
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| How many hearts will break |
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| LBS biggest supporter |
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| Iphone |
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| Her own photo trick |
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| Best buddies |
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| Bday girl and her brother |
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| Opening presents |
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| Walid's fav girl |
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