Saturday, March 12, 2011

The day i flew to kl


Its 1035am,im on the plane to kl. To see her, the woman that captured my heart. Last night while on my way out to see the boys, she texted to ask me tagged pictures of my tome when we were apart. By the time i got home&removed the pics,she had already kicked me out of fb. Of course a non stop texting&phone call continued till early morning.

I wonder at times of the human psyche, how easy it is to forget the good but rather focus on the bad. How hard is it for us to treat others as how we want to be treated. Punishing someone for their mistakes is one thing but keep reminding them of their mistakes is rather cruel. Like a drug addict who has repented&rehilibitated himself, changed to he a better person but if we keep reminding him of his dark mistakes, we dont support him, he will surely fail to reach his goal.

Why do we push those we love? We have spares or backups? We see the short coming of others but not ourselves? A loyal pet if ill treated or doesnt feel appricieated will problay leave broken hearted..

We all want love, no matter what we project on the outside, ego or anger but deep inside we crave love. We want to be pampered, to be loved. Yet we are scacred, scared to get hurt so we create walls to hide behind. Less we forget that love is a simple thing, like a plant growing, it is nutured thru trust, care& love. Be kind and gentle to it, encourage it, support it, care for it and surely it will be returned 10 folds. Stop dwelling in the past, stop searching for the right one & stop blaming god that ur jodoh has not arrived, what god u is the best for u, work at it & fight for it. Its easy to point& blame others for their mistakes but are we truly perfect without flaws of our own. Its easy to make mistakes the hard part is changing urself to remedy the mistake and face the person that was hurt and beg for a second chance. Its easy to say i forgive u but its harder to let it go and start things fresh. Life is already hard as it is why do we want to make it harder?

The woman that stole my heart is truly an enigma to me, can she be a life time partner? Will she be able to love me for my defects, will she be able to be the mother to my children? Will she love me in my most darkest of days? I dont really know.. From the 1st time i laid my eyes on her i knew, in the early months, i kept giving but her lifestyle didnt much reflect a promising future. I made a big mistake by not being there during her time of need, although i was there in other times but that is not important it seems. I know that deep in my soul, its telling me that she is the one. She is the one that completes me. But i cannot do this alone. There are needs&wants. Can she meet me half way? Her change now inspire me to be a better person and soar higher but will she be there for me? Will she finally admit her feelings and accept what god has provided? Or will she walk away?
And that is why im on this early plane to KL.. To find out if she is there for me.

Peace.
Sent from my iPhone